Tick Tock Tick Tock
Time...It just keeps running. Like a glacial stream into an ocean, it drip drops, never stopping, always running, running, running...
Even in the dead of winter when nature hibernates time keeps moving along never giving humans a break. Disregarding the advice of nature we push on against the wind and snow with only hot cocoa to guide us along the blizzard way.
I remember when life didn't have so many things pushing and grabbing and now, sometimes, even biting, zinging or dingalingalinging. I remember when there were spaces in between. Moments of quiet. Moments of play. The energy was like a lazy lemonade on a sultry day...or like the stark silence of a deep white snow, big flakes falling in the glow of a street light. But now everything seems to be in a time crunch. Spaces are filled to the brim.
The other day I drove away. I didn't know where I was going but I heard the big spacious mountains calling. I didn't have an agenda. My brain was tired and perfectly quiet. No music, just tires hitting pavement. I ended up in a spot I'd been to just once before. I can't say where it is because it's not well known and if I spread the word about this quiet spot it will cease to be sacred. I was the only one in the tiny parking lot but there was a bit of traffic on the country road so I hiked until I couldn't hear the road noise. A crunch of dried snow under foot was the only sound...piles of pebbled deer dung let me know I wasn't alone...dead yellow grass blowing in a light breeze like summer lived here. This place sits at around 9200 feet and that winter day it was sunny. Sunny at 9200 feet can be quite warm. I took my sweatshirt off and basked in the rays of heat. That tick tock slowed to a stop. Time might have pasted but I didn't notice. It was kind of like being in lala land for a while. Then I came back. Even at 45 degrees, I got HOT in that high altitude sun. It was at that point I realized I was filled up; I had had enough space in between. My energy was back and my spirits high. Surprisingly it didn't take long at all. I made my way back to the car at an easy pace. Through quiet steps I realized that I don't need a week's vacation every month to reset, maybe just an hour...time alone, away from screens and decisions and anything that pulls my attention and makes my thinker start working.
While driving home after that experience, I understood that this was a real live experience akin to those meditations where they tell you to think of a place and use all your senses to feel like you are really there. Sometimes it's difficult to do that especially when distracted by other thoughts or smells and sounds, etc that don't fit your picture. You know, like when you're pretending to be on the beach and your husband makes toast...like WHAT?!? Toast smell is strong and it is not part of any beach setting I've created. (Hummm, maybe I need to add toast to my beach experience. YUMMM!) I've had other experiences where time seemed to stop. A perfect space in time. It doesn't happen often but I'm looking to create more. I'll file them away for when I really need a get-a-way but don't have the opportunity or time to do so. In the mean time, I'm slowly choosing to let go of more things, duties, thoughts and even people that add tick tocks to my life so I can start to live in the spaces in between once again.
Even in the dead of winter when nature hibernates time keeps moving along never giving humans a break. Disregarding the advice of nature we push on against the wind and snow with only hot cocoa to guide us along the blizzard way.
I remember when life didn't have so many things pushing and grabbing and now, sometimes, even biting, zinging or dingalingalinging. I remember when there were spaces in between. Moments of quiet. Moments of play. The energy was like a lazy lemonade on a sultry day...or like the stark silence of a deep white snow, big flakes falling in the glow of a street light. But now everything seems to be in a time crunch. Spaces are filled to the brim.
The other day I drove away. I didn't know where I was going but I heard the big spacious mountains calling. I didn't have an agenda. My brain was tired and perfectly quiet. No music, just tires hitting pavement. I ended up in a spot I'd been to just once before. I can't say where it is because it's not well known and if I spread the word about this quiet spot it will cease to be sacred. I was the only one in the tiny parking lot but there was a bit of traffic on the country road so I hiked until I couldn't hear the road noise. A crunch of dried snow under foot was the only sound...piles of pebbled deer dung let me know I wasn't alone...dead yellow grass blowing in a light breeze like summer lived here. This place sits at around 9200 feet and that winter day it was sunny. Sunny at 9200 feet can be quite warm. I took my sweatshirt off and basked in the rays of heat. That tick tock slowed to a stop. Time might have pasted but I didn't notice. It was kind of like being in lala land for a while. Then I came back. Even at 45 degrees, I got HOT in that high altitude sun. It was at that point I realized I was filled up; I had had enough space in between. My energy was back and my spirits high. Surprisingly it didn't take long at all. I made my way back to the car at an easy pace. Through quiet steps I realized that I don't need a week's vacation every month to reset, maybe just an hour...time alone, away from screens and decisions and anything that pulls my attention and makes my thinker start working.
While driving home after that experience, I understood that this was a real live experience akin to those meditations where they tell you to think of a place and use all your senses to feel like you are really there. Sometimes it's difficult to do that especially when distracted by other thoughts or smells and sounds, etc that don't fit your picture. You know, like when you're pretending to be on the beach and your husband makes toast...like WHAT?!? Toast smell is strong and it is not part of any beach setting I've created. (Hummm, maybe I need to add toast to my beach experience. YUMMM!) I've had other experiences where time seemed to stop. A perfect space in time. It doesn't happen often but I'm looking to create more. I'll file them away for when I really need a get-a-way but don't have the opportunity or time to do so. In the mean time, I'm slowly choosing to let go of more things, duties, thoughts and even people that add tick tocks to my life so I can start to live in the spaces in between once again.
Man that’s well written!! We always hear our soul needs us to seek solitude., time away from screens and everyday life...but you really made this tangible for me. I love that you have a place you can go and time stops for you...that’s epic!! I have a beach just down the road with waves that drown out the world around me. Going there always resets my life’s perspective, I just need to go more often!! Keep writing Melanie...it’s such a gift! 💜
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