How am I falling in love with today?
It's been a rough couple weeks but I'm back! A month ago I was lucky enough to get the common cold. Yes - I said lucky 😉 It was the worst cold I've have ever had with coughing and non-stop sneezing to the point of breaking my body. Even after a deep tissue massage I was left with a rib out of place and a nagging dull then sharp pain in my upper back whenever I moved; there was no getting comfortable. The swelling pressed on a nerve and shot down my right arm making it impossible to type. Thankfully I was able to get in to see a chiropractor and finally five days after that adjustment I am able to fully function again. WHEW - big relief!
The cool thing about hardships is that one can always learn from them. So what's the lesson taught by a common cold?! Well, let me take you back to the time before that blessed common cold. This last year has been crazy! Read about my house upgrades in the previous post:
https://melaniesjoyandmagic.blogspot.com/2019/10/trick-or-treat.html.
I also had a BIG change at the work place. Instead of working for an individual hospital, I now work under corporate. But before that change took place, there was six months of waiting to see if I would even have a job. (Deep breaths!) Since July we have been combining processes from all the hospitals under one manager. To say that there were/are growing pains would be cheating me out of the mountains of feelings and stress I've gone through. Grief, sadness, panic, anxiety, frustration, pain, fatigue, waiting and more waiting, confusion, overwhelm, wanting to run away, giving in, should I quit?
The one thing I didn't have in my life was joy..at all. I was way too stressed to be happy. There wasn't time do anything fun and nothing even sounded inviting untillll my niece came to live with my sister this last summer. Her military husband was in a training and they were between moves so lucky me! Lydia has always had a playfulness about her and her two vibrant young children take after mom. There was a joy I saw in them that I wanted for myself. When her daughter, Aubrey, asked me if I wanted to play spies, I obliged. I would never have done this in the past but I geared up with a dry water gun and off we snuck to find the bad guy. We had fun...we giggled and pretended and forgot about the whole rest of life. Jack, her son, has a gleam in his eyes at all times. He loves to share and see people smile. His joy is infectious! And with Lydia, I laughed like I hadn't in a very long time. They certainly came around at the perfect time and I gobbled up all the time I could get with them while they were here.
That sampling of joy got the ball rolling. I wrote down things that made me feel real happiness. I started to prioritize and weed out things that didn't. I let go of relationships, material items and my own stubbornness. I started to ALLOW happiness back into my life. Still, there was this nagging feeling. I found some things that made me happy but I wasn't living in joy like I wanted to. Then I got sick.
Have you ever heard of Louise Hay? She wrote a book called Heal Your Body which speaks to a possible spiritual reason for an ailment. I knew my back hurt from coughing and sneezing but that illness was two weeks past and I was still in so much pain so I decided to open her book. I looked up spine, upper back and bones - nothing resonated. Then I thought to look up shoulders and it struck me:
And there it was!! Even though I was finding little joys in life, my belief that life was a burden permeated my whole of everything from work to play, 24/7. I was literally just 'getting through' life rather than living it. I remember living in joy years ago but somehow this yuck snuck upon me. Bad work situations, rotten relationships and so much that just must get done... "If I can cross this off my list of to-do's my life might just be a bit better. Then when all the stuff is crossed off I can be free and finally have fun." I've been living jaded and the problem is that the work is never done..the house will always need repairs, the job will forever be changing and relationships always need care and tweaking (and maybe a little twerking as well 😜). I thought I had worked through all that junk and let it all go then it dawned on me that those experiences will always be part of me. I can't let them go - I need to integrate them - grow from them, not just hope they go way as the saying and song leads one to believe.
Along with the probably cause, Louise also lists a mantra:
I repeated this several times then shot up a firework of grateful feelings as I could already see the light. Things found in the shadows are like that...once we shine a light on them they easily become our ally showing us what we're missing so we can rise up. In the past, I tried to do all the things like live in the moment and keep a gratitude journal but those labored efforts acted like a band-aid. I didn't take long after SEEING my belief of 'life is a burden' and I am already living from the perspective of joy. Sure, there are still many things I don't like or wish to do but I don't feel like I'm walking through an Irish bog anymore. I feel like I have a magic wand and creating by choice, starting right here and now where I am in my unperfect, crazy bananas life. So yeah, a bright light on the shadow, a realization and perspective change. New thoughts - new choices - and a smile in my heart. This is good - real good - GOLDEN!!
P.S. If you didn't notice, I updated my Blog name. I'll still be getting uncomfortable via writing this blog and probably other activities, however, I will also be sharing my joyful life. Lets skip through the tulips together!
Credits:
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Body-Z-Physical/dp/1561707929/ref=pd_sbs_14_6/137-5454632-2057411?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1561707929&pd_rd_r=798ae10f-e902-49f9-a0ec-1d537c64b2f0&pd_rd_w=Q1eKv&pd_rd_wg=ymhVv&pf_rd_p=5873ae95-9063-4a23-9b7e-eafa738c2269&pf_rd_r=SHCEYSP6T4372XZ1S1S5&psc=1&refRID=SHCEYSP6T4372XZ1S1S5
Art: "The Favorite" painting by Omar Rayyan https://www.etsy.com/listing/55984342/the-favorite-print-little-girl-monster
https://melaniesjoyandmagic.blogspot.com/2019/10/trick-or-treat.html.
I also had a BIG change at the work place. Instead of working for an individual hospital, I now work under corporate. But before that change took place, there was six months of waiting to see if I would even have a job. (Deep breaths!) Since July we have been combining processes from all the hospitals under one manager. To say that there were/are growing pains would be cheating me out of the mountains of feelings and stress I've gone through. Grief, sadness, panic, anxiety, frustration, pain, fatigue, waiting and more waiting, confusion, overwhelm, wanting to run away, giving in, should I quit?
The one thing I didn't have in my life was joy..at all. I was way too stressed to be happy. There wasn't time do anything fun and nothing even sounded inviting untillll my niece came to live with my sister this last summer. Her military husband was in a training and they were between moves so lucky me! Lydia has always had a playfulness about her and her two vibrant young children take after mom. There was a joy I saw in them that I wanted for myself. When her daughter, Aubrey, asked me if I wanted to play spies, I obliged. I would never have done this in the past but I geared up with a dry water gun and off we snuck to find the bad guy. We had fun...we giggled and pretended and forgot about the whole rest of life. Jack, her son, has a gleam in his eyes at all times. He loves to share and see people smile. His joy is infectious! And with Lydia, I laughed like I hadn't in a very long time. They certainly came around at the perfect time and I gobbled up all the time I could get with them while they were here.
That sampling of joy got the ball rolling. I wrote down things that made me feel real happiness. I started to prioritize and weed out things that didn't. I let go of relationships, material items and my own stubbornness. I started to ALLOW happiness back into my life. Still, there was this nagging feeling. I found some things that made me happy but I wasn't living in joy like I wanted to. Then I got sick.
Have you ever heard of Louise Hay? She wrote a book called Heal Your Body which speaks to a possible spiritual reason for an ailment. I knew my back hurt from coughing and sneezing but that illness was two weeks past and I was still in so much pain so I decided to open her book. I looked up spine, upper back and bones - nothing resonated. Then I thought to look up shoulders and it struck me:
"Probable Cause: Represents our ability to carry out experiences in life joyously. We make life a burden by our attitude."
Along with the probably cause, Louise also lists a mantra:
"New Thought Pattern: I choose to allow all my experience to be joyous and loving."
P.S. If you didn't notice, I updated my Blog name. I'll still be getting uncomfortable via writing this blog and probably other activities, however, I will also be sharing my joyful life. Lets skip through the tulips together!
Credits:
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Body-Z-Physical/dp/1561707929/ref=pd_sbs_14_6/137-5454632-2057411?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1561707929&pd_rd_r=798ae10f-e902-49f9-a0ec-1d537c64b2f0&pd_rd_w=Q1eKv&pd_rd_wg=ymhVv&pf_rd_p=5873ae95-9063-4a23-9b7e-eafa738c2269&pf_rd_r=SHCEYSP6T4372XZ1S1S5&psc=1&refRID=SHCEYSP6T4372XZ1S1S5
Art: "The Favorite" painting by Omar Rayyan https://www.etsy.com/listing/55984342/the-favorite-print-little-girl-monster
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